diaryland makes me feel lonely lately.
my pms kicked in full-force at around 9 tonight. my poor parents. my poor friends. my poor john.
i'm doing a painting for john [per his request], and part of it has the ocean in it. while i was painting that part tonight, it made me think of one of my favorite memories ever. it was one night that meghan had a party at her house on long beach island and her and i spent a good deal of time on the beach together. it was sad. it was nice, though. but it's special and mine, so you can't know about it.
i wanted to write about the night john decided he was my boyfriend and not just some guy i was fucking. sleeping with. dating? i don't want to be abrasive...
i wanted to write about it, but it's a gratuitously long story with no real pay-off - except for a huge awwwww. it's cute.
i know a secret.
i had a really nice weekend. linh's band played at the pontiac on friday night. she dressed up as a dirty librarian and i took pictures for her boyfriend. got drunk, went to jeff's, smoked ourselves retarted. the six of us ate an entire pan of brownies. while they were still scalding hot.
gotta stop with the weed.
passed out after that. actually, spent an hour rolling around in jeff's bed enjoying the spins while he was cleaning his living room. called his apartment phone on my cell phone to ask him to bring back an ashtray, the cat, and some toilet paper.
i don't know.
woke up ass-early the next day to go home and clean my room so that my mother wouldn't eat my brain. went back to jeff's later that night. john's band had a show at the fire that night, so dan picked linh and i up and we headed over there. it was a great show, i had a lot of fun watching john play. it's so fucking adorable. and hot at the same time. linh dressed up as a dirty librarian again, i wore my dickies get-up per john's request. linh and dan disappeared for ten minutes to get it on in the ghetto cruiser while i spent ten minutes with john in the bathroom of the band-members-only-upstairs-apartment-thingee grabbing my ankles. ah, good times. this is why i spend so much time with this crew.
all vulgarities aside, i really am glad i decided to not stop seeing john and actually give him a chance. he crept up on me. i told him last night that he just makes everything better.
on the upside, i never have to pay a cover at any of the bars i've been to so far. it's such a power trip to go up to the guy at the door and say, "hi, i'm on the list." stamp the hand, go right inside. even more fun is to say, "i'm with the band," as john ushers me through without even a sideward glance from the bouncer. it's so cliche and so fucking fun. i'm with the band. hahaha... never in my life did i think i'd ever be saying those words.
i think i've written enough for now. doesn't seem like anyone reads this anymore, anyway. which is why i don't even bat an eyelash before writing about things such as the aforementioned ankle-grabbing. i just. don't. care.
blah.
must get up early tomorrow and find a job.
good night.