i don't even know where to start.

uh...

ok. so.

went to meghan's on friday afternoon. she picked me up from the train, we went to her house in long beach island, food shopping, penne a la vodka and some other stuff i can't remember.

saturday - showered, got pretty, put makeup on meghan's little sister, joe showed up. first shot of vodka at 7ish. don came. shot of tequila with joe. don was hungry so i made some amazing pancakes for him, liz showed up with el and twin brothers in tow, meghan and don go to get beer.

beer pong. drinking more. drinking A LOT more. joe gets ball in cup ONCE in the entire two games we played together, but that's ok because it was his first time playing. drink some more. joe and i go for a walk to the beach around 11:30ish [i think - was very drunk by this point and lost track of time]. stood in waves, talked and talked and talked. debated over whether the orange light on the horizon was a sailboat or the moon. thought there was a moment when something was going to happen, aaand... oh wait... NOTHING.

walk back to meghan's something like 2 hours later. some things happen that make kristin think that maaaybe... oh wait no... still NOTHING.

i think this is when we all started playing spin the bottle.

yeah, i know.

and it's a good thing i'm secure in my sexuality and kissing girls doesn't bother me, because i forget how many times i made out with meghan. landed on the brothers several MILLION times. don a few. no big deal.

bottle stops on joe twice. now something happens, but... maybe nothing. not too clear.

this really isn't the forum to be talking about such things, as it involves him and i'm not trying to make his business public. but i will say that i'm really confused now, don't really know how to proceed...

and my poor meghan. oh, meghan. i'll never understand how you and i get ourselves into these messes. poor baby.

sunday, i wake up SOAKED in mystery liquid. couch and pillows and carpet are also mysteriously wet. not piss. never did figure out what it was. made some more pancakes for liz and her brothers. people leave. joe leaves. kristin goes inside and SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER. don leaves and meghan SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER.

boys.

spend rest of day nursing hangover and waiting for meghan to cooome hooome. cigarette after cigarette after cigarette... meghan and i decided we're going to be paris hilton and nicole ritchie for halloween, respectively. very excited about this. also decided that we, in fact, DO NOT suck - we are fabulous.

woke up around 12 today, had french toast for breakfast, went to beach until 5ish. my freckles came out. i missed them. ashlee simpson, thursday, taco bell, train station. my phone dies right as i get on the train and have to wait until i get to philly to use a payphone to call my mom and ask her to come pick my ass up from center city.

now i'm home. my three books on heroin arrived. know your enemy, yes? i got a grant worth $2,500 and also worth ASS since it's for drexel and i can't use it for any other school. my gym called. the cafe did not, however.

talked to my brother, he's having a scheduling problem and is therefore freaking THE FUCK out. talked to gina, who i haven't seen in some obscene amount of time. i'm going to a bar with her and her parents and a whole crew of other people on sunday and hopefully they'll let me drink. i'll be 21 three days after that, so i'm hoping it won't be a big deal. talked to don who is, well, again this isn't the place for that. talked to joe. not too much came out of that except for more confusion.

aaand that brings us to now, which is pretty boring compared to the last few days.

my party is coming up. meghan is buying me car bombs. i'm being forced to take 21 shots, so meghan and i are going t ohave to start drinking early for me to have any chance of surviving that.

i want to go to a salon and get a haircut and highlights and a manicure and a pedicure but i have zero dollars to throw in for that, so...

i really have nothing interesting to say. i wish everything was what we wanted it to be. i guess that's asking for too much, though.

what. the fuck. happened this weekend...