so, here's the issue. i've been fucking insatiable as of late, which explains my current state of licentiousness. as i told jackie earlier, i feel like a horny 16 year old boy. it's horrible. so, when the opportunity to be relieved from this arises, even if it's only temporary, i, of course, jump at it. or, on it, to be more appropos.

which explains this weekend. i had another run in with ghetto fab, whose name happens to be zack. meghan, lia, and i went to gamma sigma, and all nite, i was paranoid that i was going to run into him again. i had no recollection of what he looked like or anything, so i was overly nervous. there were one or two guys there that i thought were him, but they weren't. eventually, i forgot about it, and got drunk and danced with lia and meghan. apparently, we were doing something right, because there was a horde of black guys staring at us for a while. one of them later told lia he was in love with her. i love it.

this really good song came on, don't remember what it was, but i'm dancing with my friends, minding my business when lia says drunkenly, "that's ghetto fab," as she points to someone behind my back.

he was dancing right next to us, i kinda ignored him, he circled the dance floor, and then came back. shady.

i'm not even paying attention to him anymore. i'm maybe 1 foot away from lia and meghan, and i feel him put his hands on my waist. i handed my cup over to lia ceremoniously, and that was it. i was on a mission for one thing and one thing only.

basically, it was a repeat of last time. so yeah. about i don't know, 45 minutes later, they announce that anyone without a wrist band for the afterparty has to go. so i try and pry myself away from him, which he didn't like, and he's all, "let me give you my number." i told him i didn't have my cell phone which has never failed me before, but he proceeds to pull a piece of paper out of his wallet with his # and screen name writen on it and gives it to me. nah, this wasn't premeditated...

sooo, i wasn't going to talk to him or anything, because in all honesty, i used him and don't want anything else from him. i'm sorry, that's the truth. it's not like anyone at these parties is honestly looking for anything besides some ass, anyway.

but the thing is, he's not a bad looking guy and he's a fabulous kisser and all that other stuff... i don't know whether i should talk to him or not. maybe if i see him again, i'll just tell him i lost his info, i don't want a relationship, but that doesn't mean we can't still mess around. maybe. i don't know what to doooo. help.

i have a picture of him. it's really funny. if anyone wants to see...

i've been finding myself attracted to the complete opposite type of guys lately. i normally go for the little emo weird boys, but lately it's been a lot different... i find that guys who i used to deem repulsive, laughable, and offensive are now the ones i want the most. it's the masculinity that they exude. i like the masculinity. a lot. maybe because i'm so, uh, 'needy' right now, my instincts are taking over.

i've also been listening to a lot of hip hop or whatever the fuck you call it lately, partially due to lia, and it's not helping, because it's very sexy in a bad way kinda music. makes me want to call zack. and get back on the train to new brunswick to go find him. and. do things. no no no...

anyway. please pray that my hormones stop having a field day and making me do bad things in public.