oooh hot damn, do i like john. the squishiness is taking over. sucking my brains out and replacing it with little, pink, furry things that squeak and giggle when he's around. or even if someone talks about him.

it's getting bad, people.

but, tonight, instead of hating it... i'm going to like it. yes,

I

AM

A

GIRL

oh yeah. and i do like it. very much. in fact, i love it. ha! take that! now what, bitch?!

hmm. giggle.

we're going to brooklyn on sunday. i get to spend aaalll day with my john. my john. [shit, imagine if i really let the girliness start gushing, ha. you'd all jump off a bridge.]

brooklyn to drop off a bass to an apparently very famous jazz musician. i think we should go to wyatt's party on saturday and leave from there to go to brooklyn, since it will be a shorter ride than if we left from my house, but... i don't know. i'll try to talk to him about it soon.

i kinda like letting myself be a girl. i should do it more often. it's nice.

what i like a lot about him is that he has this way of saying really sweet things in a very shady way. like how he was telling dan he had to go to brooklyn on sunday, but didn't want to go alone and then proceeded to squeeze my knee under the table. like that. that's cute. a lot cute.

i'm drunk, can you tell? maybe that's why i haven't proceeded to vomit on myself yet.

i had to pee so bad tonight in the car on the way home that my fucking kidneys started aching. seriously. you know how people on tv and shit, when they have to pee really bad and start sighing and moaning really loudly when they finally do? i thought that was bullshit. exaggeration. oh no, my friend, it is not. i was panting when i finally did pee it felt so good.

yes, children. miracles do happen.

all right. i'm going to go to bed now. frustrated as hell for reasons i just won't go into here since i don't know some of you, but just trust me. i could suck a golf ball through a ten foot hose right now. anyway. off to bed.

mmm...