you make me smile when i see you walking towards me, knowing that in less than ten seconds you'll kiss me hello. you make me happy when you tell me that you don't think of anyone else. you make me appreciate the human capacity to love when i think about the first nites we met, the first nites you slept in my bed, the first time you kissed me.

we were lovers / we were kissers / we were holders of hands / we were make believers / just loosing time

you make me sick in the pit of my stomach when i think about you. you give me a headache so horrendous that i have to close my eyes and go to sleep when i think about how much i've been through since we met. you terrify me when i count the days its been since you called, since i've seen you. you make my heart break when you pretend we're just friends. you make me hate myself when i remember the first nites we met, the first nites you slept in my bed, the first time you kissed me.

and you find yourself out of a job / and before too long / you'll be selling lemonade to the overpaid ... / i was out of my head / but you weren't your self assured / waste of space

i love the way you smell. i love the way you sleep. i love the way you kiss me. i love how you try to un derstand and support my dreams. i love when you ask me to teach you new words. i love when you're concerned when my stomach is bothering me. i love the freedom you give me to be myself. i love the respect you've given me since the day we met. i love the butterflies i still feel when you come into the room.

and i'm still in love / and i'm still in love / and i'm still in love / and i'm still in

love

i hate trying to drag you out of bed to take care of your endless shit. i hate the way you don't kiss me enough. i hate the way you are when you're drunk. i'm tired of feeling guilty about loving what you'd say and do when you were high. i'm tired of feeling like my insides are in constant tumult the minute my thoughts wander to your face. i'm tired of begging a stranger's voicemail to have you call me. i hate waiting for that call. i hate hoping and praying that you'll take time away from your busy schedule of welfare meetings, shitty job interviews, and narcotics group therapy sessions to come see me for an unfufilling five or six hours. i'm tired of feeling like i'm trapped between losing the person i'm so utterly, passionately, violently in love with and finally doing something good for myself. i'm tired of the looks and side comments that come from everyone else i care about concerning my welfare. i'm tired of knowing that i would stay with you forever if you'd just love me as much as i love you. i'm just so fucking tired of you.

and you said you'd rather live in tv land / than say that you care / but you don't / that's heartless and i will not cry

you ask me what i want from you. but you should already know. you should already know that i want you by my side for always and a minute. you should already know that the love i have for you is so visceral, so complete, so tempestuous, so painful but so fucking beautiful that nothing else matters but you. you should already know that what i want from you is some sort of security. you should already fucking know that i want to be to you what you are to me.

but i'm still in love...