fuck me, now i'm having second thoughts about moving out. i mean, i'm going to, i have a set of keys and everything and the cable bill is in my name, so there's no turning back now.

i just wish i could sign the lease for a shorter period of time that one whole year. but i guess i could always sublet if things got too bad.

i want to move out, i love the idea of having my own apartment. shit, i have to say it again. my. own. apartment. see? i want this, i need to do this, but i guess i'm just scared.

i don't want to pull another rutgers, although i feel like this will be a much easier adjustment because i'm 20 minutes away from home.

that made me feel better.

i went to see it the other day, and it's pretty much a shitty apartment, nothing special about it, but it's mine. and i feel like your first apartment should be shitty. just like your first car should be shitty. this way, you appreciate the better apartments and the better cars more when you finally get them.

but, anyway. i love having keys to an apartment. makes me feel like i'm taking on some sort of responsibility.

moving is such a daunting concept, though. i have so much shit that i need to bring. i have to buy a new bed and mattress, i'm bringing my futon, my tv, my stereo, 2 nightstands, a shelving unit... there's just so much furniture, let alone everything else like clothes and my computer and all that.

i have so many other things to buy. like cups, drinking glasses, wine glasses, utensils, fucking laundry detergent, a shower curtain, toilet paper. who the fuck ever thought i'd be buying my own god damned toilet paper? of course, i never thought i'd be sweeping the floors at Cosi, but look at me now. woo.

in other news... wyatt, lia, meghan, chris, vicky, me, and some other people from that group may be spending a weekend in the poconos this winter.

shit. as i just said to lia, i have my own apartment, i'm buying my own toilet paper, and i may be going on a fucking vacation with my friends. wee.

my life just got serious.

hahahaha...