the invader lung puss has advanced to critical. i didn't think it could get worse, but it has. you don't want to know what i coughed up this morning when i awoke in the middle of a violent, painful coughing fit...

i need medicine. real medicine.

it's not fair. i think it's something like 30% of all young americans are uninsured because they can't afford it. it's just not fucking right. what if i have walking pnemonia? and i can't afford to go the fucking doctor to tell me if i do. even if i could find the money for that, i wouldn't be able to afford to prescription. god forbid i needed to be hospitalized. this is just not. fucking. fair.

anyway, i'll get off my soap box.

john and i went to the deftones show last night where we proceeded to get very drunk. he had such a good time. chino has lost some serious weight and is sexy as ever. they played ooourrr sooonnng... blech i want to vomit on myself. but i guess it was cute. i guess, haha. john got real close and sang it in my ear. and then we got real close and sang it to each other riiight before he kissed me, so it was like we were breathing together and all this other crazy adorable shit that i can't stand to write because if i don't shoot myself, i'm sure one of you will.

it was a great show. and it's lovely being 21 and not having to stand around in the pit. we had seats and alcohol and i could see the whole show without having to stand up. woo.

and then we went home and had the absolute definition of crazy wild monkey sex that lasted for what had to have been forever. i won't go into detail in here, but i'm sure at least one of my friends is going to ask about it, hahaha, and i know exactly which ones will. and i will tell them, haha. just trust me. it was crazy. and wild. and aaall kinds of other things.

halloween party tomorrow. i have so much shit to do. it's 10:30 and i should be on my way home soon to get some of that shit done, but my sick, very ravaged body just wants to crawl back into bed. well, crawl back onto the air mattress that i've been sleeping on at the apartment since i haven't moved any of my shit in yet.

i have to buy beer and everclear and i really don't have a lot of money left. my mom bought the food for me, that was nice. but i don't think jeff has much money to throw in for alcohol, and linh definitely doesn't have any to throw in, so... looks like i'll be putting out a donation jar tomorrow when people show up hahaha.

i did something last night that i swore i would never do. and it wasn't that unpleasant. it's nothing bad, don't worry [jackie, haha].

ok. time to go pass out.