ok, party stories.

just as a general note, not only did i do 21 shots that night, i did 22. therefore, my recollections are few and far between and magnaminously blurry.

i do remember that my first shot was a blowjob. and that was at 7:30ish... i think?

ps by the way my ID isn't good enough for new jersey liquor stores. the guy wouldn't take it because it was a duplicate and i have no other acceptable forms of identification. so, fuck new jersey.

oh wait, that leads me to remember that my first shot was bushmills in meghan's car on the way home from the evil liquor store, not a blowjob. anyway.

gina and derek bought me a bottle of jagermeister which i almost proceeded to hump them for. and meghan and rachel the jew bought me a tiny little bowl disguised as a tube of lipstick, which was probably the best present i've ever gotten in my life.

i got loooots of fabulous presents, including shooters from jackie and the huge amount of stuff that maryanne gave me.

so anyway, back to party... shots shots more shots.

at some point, hooked up with jackie. sorry.

joe made me a cake. i melted into a puddle of girl for a minute. meghan and i ate some and i, in my drunken stupor, made meghan suck it off my face. now, according to meghan, i then proceeded to walk right up to joe and start hooking up with him. don't remember that. AT ALL.

and thats when the marathon with joe began. while in the hallway, everyone [including my younger brother] decided to "go to the bathroom" so they could walk by and see what was going on. i vaguely remember rachel the jew trying to take a video of it with her camera hahaaha, i love that girl. tried to back him into a bedroom, didn't work, went to beach.

while on beach, a strange man with a flashlight comes over and decides to shine his stupid fucking flashlight in our faces to make sure we "werent' dead." right. because two people moving around in the sand equal fucking CORPSES.

back to meghan's. somehow wind up in meghan's sister's bed. more stuff. good stuff. went out to living room for a minute to watch the end of almost famous, back to bedroom. around 6:30 in the morning, sleeeeeep. good sleeeeeep.

joe wakes me up at 10 in the morning by staring at me for a good five minutes. more kissing. joe leaves.

after all of that kissing you'd think we would have discussed the matter at hand to try and figure out exactly where it all was going.

and yet, we did not.

rachel's boyfriend made me a bloody mary and tried to get me to go to atlantic city with him and his friend. i was still drunk when i woke up, so that wasn't happening. piled all my liquor and presents into jackie's car and left with her and maryanne and my brother. diner. superb mix cd by maryanne. home. endocet. passed the fuck out.

woke up from a horrible sleep nervous about joe. sorry to be so girly, but i really like this kid and want to know what the fuck he's thinking. sent him a text saying we should talk about what happened because i'm all for it happening again. more endocet. he texted me back saying yeah we should talk.

but has he called me? or IMed me? have we talked?

no, of course not. that would be too fucking easy.

i understand that he's excruciatingly shy, but come the fuck on, son. so am i. and i grew a set and brought it up, so just talk to me.

i'm confused because he apparently told someone he likes me and you wouldn't kiss a girl you don't like, right? he wasn't drunk at all when it was happening, and he still seemed to have feelings for me the next day, so... am i wrong for assuming that something could possibly be there?

fucking boys.

so now, practically everyone i know [including my mother] is waiting in the wings for something to happen.

i hope it's resolved before i get on that beautiful plane to beautiful st. thomas on saturday. that would be ideal.

but, as my life is anything but ideal, i'll probably still be waiting until april.

that's not to say i won't wait, though. i'll wait for him. he's worth it.