well i was going to bitch and complain about how fucked up it is when people are pissed off at me and don't tell me and i have to find out quite embarrassingly from other people. and i was going to bitch and complain about how fucked up it is when i continuously don't get invited to things that my so-called friends do. but ya know what, every time i tell people how horrible it feels to not be included, it's like talking to a fucking wall. nothing ever changes. i still feel like the third wheel. i'm tired of apologising for living too far away, when 'too far away' consists of a fucking bridge and a state line. what the fuck ever. you call me when you start to miss me, because i'm fucking sick and tired of giving up everything and begging for your friendship.

and that's all i'll say about it, because god forbid i offend someone.

anyway. i got a raise at work today. an extra fitty-cent, yo. apparently, that's the highest raise they can give, so i done good. and i got a partner payback card, which is good for a free transpass. and free dinner. and i wasn't forced to wear a hat. and more higher-paying barista weekend shifts. and two days off next schedule. and my commando classes are in january. i'm going to be commando for serving and barista, instead of just serving like the other guy. all because i worked a double today. and i'm a good barista. apparently. at least my fucking manager appreciates me.

my christmas was fabulous. i got lots of fun gamecube stuff, including the system. my whole entire family - even my grandmother - rocked the karaoke revolution all nite long. and i found a sweet used cd store in rehobeth where i got the new zelda game for only $30.

party at wyatt's for new years, come one come all. hopefully it'll be a fabulous repeat of last year's party. maybe even better, i hope. we shall see.

it's depressing that my life consists of my job and not much more. it makes me very sad.

merry christmas.