blaaah...

got my period, yay no crack baby. however, i do feel as though a demon child is passing through my uterus right now... i always get bad cramps, but these are HORRENDOUS. maybe i should go to the gyno. yeah, i should. i'll just tell my mom in the morning to make me an appointment that she'll conveniently "forget" to make for the fifteenth time in a row because she's too afraid of what me going on birth control would mean.

aargh.

so i'll just continue to suffer in silence and have unprotected sex.

well, i'm not really having unprotected sex, but i could be, dammit! and then she'd feel really bad for not listening to me.

but anyway.

we were supposed to have a cosi people party at jeff's tonite, but it all fell through. nothing about tonite worked. first, i get my damn period. yay and all that, but no. no. and then jeff calls and says he's sick and can't go to the liquor store, so chris and i had to run out before the stores closed and use my money that i couldn't afford to use to buy liquor. then when we get to south street, where jeff lives, he's not picking up his phone. so chris and leah and i end up walking to wawa to get tonic, coke, juice, and limes and then proceed to trek around south street - on a FRIDAY nite, mind you - with three heavy bags full of alcohol and mixers until jeff decides to wake the fuck up and answer his phone.

and then i call will's work to tell him when we're coming to get him, and they tell me he went home sick. so, now i'm all disappointed because i really wanted to see him tonite, and i'm worried on top of that that he's not feeling well. he doesn't have insurance, so he can't go to the doctor. rrr.

and then i start to feel really really gross with these monstrous cramps, so i roll myself a huge, fat blunt and smoke that to try and feel better. that didn't really work, so now i'm just really fucking stoned but can't enjoy it because i feel like my insides are falling out.

jeff then proceeds to get really really sick and goes to bed, which calls off any partying, so chris just drove me home and here i am. all high with no where to go, nothing to see, and no one to do.

sorry that came out all fucked up. whatever.

i need to get laid badly. dammit.

i'm going to church with will on sunday. can you believe that? yeah, i know. i warned him, though - if the place starts to burn down when i step inside, it's not my fault. he has been warned.

i mean, it's bad enough that i'm stepping foot into that place. but walking in there with him? that's just wrong.

and my grandfather is dying on top of all of this.

merry christmas.