ah, i fucked up. that girl i was talking about in my other entry kinda read that and got all pissed at me. why does that happen to me? first it was celest, now it's her. all the people that i don't think read my diary actually read it. that's fucked up. i would say that i need to be more careful, but it's my diary and why should i have to censor myself? whatever. it just sucks because she sent me a really nasty e-mail and i hate to have to end our friendship like that. i was always her genuine friend up until just recently, but she thinks i was bullshitting her ever since i knew her which is not true at all. you can ask gina, i always defended this girl when everyone and their mother would talk shit about her. i was the only one who stuck up for her when everyone else was talking about her. but whatever, i guess that doesn't matter to her. i hurt her feelings and fucked up. oh well, i shouldn't be surprised. i always fuck up. i am a fuck up. always and forever.

gina's in class so i can't talk to her about it, and i just really want to talk about it. dammit. i bet that girl let that guy read what i wrote about him. and now he knows. and that really sucks because i can't face him ever again after i wrote that. he probably hates me and thinks i'm really fucking weird.

god, i'm such a fuck up.